Monday, August 23, 2010

A joke to share and a shoulder to cry

You may all be wondering what the title's all about or whether i have found my soul mate and getting married or something like that. But the title is all about friendship and the joy one gets in spending time with friends either in person or through the electronic media vis-a-vis phone, email, chat etc etc. The blog may be around 3 weeks late, but better late than never. You may also ask why such a topic now considering my previous topics were about music or adventurous trips. At this point of time my mind couldn't think of any other topic other than friendship considering the great ones i have and the not so great ones i try to avoid.

Let me start of with my nearest and dearest ones....the one's whom I've had for the past 20 years. They are the one's who've been with me right from the time i was toddler lazily going in an over crowded school van carrying a small school bag. I still remember the numerous talks we had, the little fights, the contest as to who will go with the birthday boy to give chocolate, etc etc...all evergreen memories....though i missed about 6 years of my life without any touch with them, we all still remembered every single memory we people shared. What started out as a small chain mail has now become a raging storm with us expecting every single reply and competing as to who is the fastest reply. This may sound very kiddish...but at the end of the day we are still those toddlers who used to shout together "Good Morning Miss" and still remain kids at heart. Its a great feeling for me to have taken this relationship one step further and building a permanent bond through the Upakaaraka Trust. This is one initiative which we are never going to give up on as long as we exist as friends which i am sure will be an infinite loop.

After school must come the college days...but i am afraid to say that though there were some great memories i cherish from them, certain incidents still make me want to forget my college days big time. To have ones trust broken to such an extent that he forgets the meaning of friendship is definitely something i wish to forget. People say college is the golden period in one's life, but for me it turned out otherwise and so let me skip this portion.

After that came my office and i had a great set to join with. Being campus recruits, we were a fresh set outta college and there was lots of effervescence in us. We all were a close knit group and the time we all spent together in bench was unforgettable. Though this group no longer exist due to various reasons like fights, transfers etc etc, I still cherish the few people who are still close to me.

Next comes my the newest part which has been spicing up my life a lot...its my treks and i was introduced to it through my colleagues. But my first friend from the group was a bizarre one...we became friends even before we knew each other and then once we met on the trek it was no looking back. Then followed numerous outings and experiences with the club and there i got my latest and newest set of friends. Group of totally disconnected individuals that connected through various meetings and now we have bonded big time...we may call ourselves "The MAFIA Gang" based on the game we played on the trek and play at get2gethers...but trust me everyone is pure at heart and there is the sense of genuine friendship which i last saw with my toddler mates...One must remember we are all totally unconnected people who even wouldn't have met if they din go for the trek, but the levels of trust, mutual admiration and bonding we have had amongst us is definitely unbelievable. I don't believe in fate and destiny...but it seems like as if we were destined to meet each other in the most unlikely of all places and means..

There are numerous things i have learnt as a person and a friend through these experiences...things like what to do and what not...things that define true friendship and those that define namesakes...There are lots of lessons that i have learnt through the friends I have, have had and no longer have and wish to share with those looking for real friends. These are random things i learnt and everything has the same top ranking...its like without these friendship can never and will never exist.

First and foremost thing that pops right away from my mind is trust. Once you are in a friendship, never ever even in the hardest of times try to break that. it may be a happy experience for you and you may feel much relieved that you have got back at ur friend who no longer is one...but u must understand that the result is negatively compounded at the receiving end. If you feel 10 times happy at what you have done by breaking the trust, the one whose trust is breached will feel 100 times more heart broken. As long as there is trust in the friendship, it will stay green...else it will also be a case of has been...

Next comes mutual admiration. We must always applaud and appreciate our friend even if its a small achievement. For us the achievement may sound small, but imagine the pains and hardships he/she would have undergone to get it. Its is such small appreciations that will be a morale booster to them.

Then comes positiveness. Whatever the situation may be, always look at the positives of your friendship. If there has been a misunderstanding between you two think of the wonderful times you must have spent together, remember those escapades, those teasings, those movie outings etc etc to revive your friendship and forget the hardship.

Always be like how a cigarette is to smokers. If you ask them they will tell its my 6th finger. Similarly try to be a complement to your friend and support him. Always be a joker for them to laugh and a shoulder for them to cry. The last thing one wants is crying alone without anyone to support. Also try to lift the spirits of your friends by talking some crap or making some jokes. You can even try to get them angry...though the temper may be temporary, the reason for sadness will vanish permanently...

If you really wanna identify a true friend from among the just friends, just be with them most of the time. If at a stage they share with you all their inner pleasures, pains and memories, they go straightaway and hug them. You can never get a better friend than them.

Wow...this has been my most delayed (almost 2 months since my last posting) but fastest posting...start to end within a day. Though many of you may not agree to what is written, as i said these are my personal thoughts from my personal experiences. Please do criticize or add your own points to this since it will be useful for someone else


Priya Vinodh said...


Senthil Kumar (webrsk) said...

Feelings has been written .. Its true about what you said about the friendship.. Friends are always heart beats :) :) Have funfilled life hari :)

Ramya said...

wow hari tats a gr8 write up and Im sure you mean every bit of it. Im so happy to be part of the mafia gang and do cherish your friendship. Hope our journey continues...


"Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life."

Balki said...

Lots of things to be said. About the trusting and the breaking part!

Good article. But nevertheless would be disappointing for all those who were with you during college.

Hariharan said...

@ balki : read the college portion again...i said "though there were some great memories i cherish from them, certain incidents still make me want to forget my college days big time" even now if i think of college i still remember that which is definitely something i wanna forget...thats y i din mention much bout college

Sandipta said...

really very true statements given by you hari.

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